He was known to be ideal and perfect in all respects. Some thought of him as a sage. Some thought of him as a great professional leader. But, he had always thought of himself as a simple-minded and straight-forward person.
One day, he was at lunch with some friends and two of them, a man and a woman, were new to the circle. He had known the new woman only for a few days, maybe two weeks. The casual conversation they had been having about human relationships and personal intimacy slowly turned slightly vulgar and obscene, one hinting that the other was "going both ways". He began feeling signs of shame and guilt for being a listener to such talk.
Inside his heart, he began getting angry at fate that he had to find himself in such a position and that he has no control over the context or the conversation. If he got angry at the speaker, it would not be righteous, for he has to find a way to make the speaker understand what he truly wants to tell her. At that moment, the only line of thought he was able to carry was the following:
"I will first wait for her object of discussion to turn towards the person that I feel the closest to. That would be one reason to chide her. If the object turns towards me, then I would feel even more righteous in being eligible to teach her about what topics are considered acceptable at lunch with one's friends. The worst question I would be expecting from such a person would be something like, 'What about you, Kiran? Are you straight, gay or bi?'
First, I will ignore her question. I hope she will give up and talk about something more pleasant.
If she insists on continuing such a discussion, I will change the topic myself. I will say, 'Hey, who has the earliest deadline or deliverable this week?' That will take all the fun out of the conversation, and remind them that they are bound to work and duty and probably fate too, if they are negative-thinking. If I want to change the topic into something more pleasant, I will ask, 'Hey, what are you guys planning to do this weekend? Shall we all visit the Red Fort?'
Yeah, that would be the perfect change in the conversation to what I think everyone in the group should be looking forward to every time we get together for lunch.
The last straw will break my back when she repeats her question. This is what I plan to tell her:
'Let me tell you what I am thinking right now. I consider such topics unacceptable at lunch with one's friends. The first time you asked that question, I ignored it. The second time you asked it, I tried to change the topic to something more acceptable or pleasant to all of us, while we are all eating food that helps us live a life of pleasure. You have now repeated your question for the third time, and I am now angry with you. Please do not bring such discussions to the table. If you want to find out how straight I am, let's talk about that in private. I will show you how charming I can be and that will prove to you that I am straight.'
By now, she should be looking guilty, which means I have made my point. I will smile, indicating that I am glad that she understood what I was trying to convey. If she looks hurt or angry, I will continue chiding her until I sort out her error, in the following manner:
'Let me also tell you what I plan to do the next time you repeat your mistake. I will first warn you, just as I am warning you now. If you continue, I will request the others to tell you to stop talking about it and ask you to talk about something more positive. If they are uncooperative, I will tell you that I am going to leave the table. If you are still defensive, I will never go to lunch with you again, and start having lunch with those friends that I consider pleasant.'"
First, I will ignore her question. I hope she will give up and talk about something more pleasant.
If she insists on continuing such a discussion, I will change the topic myself. I will say, 'Hey, who has the earliest deadline or deliverable this week?' That will take all the fun out of the conversation, and remind them that they are bound to work and duty and probably fate too, if they are negative-thinking. If I want to change the topic into something more pleasant, I will ask, 'Hey, what are you guys planning to do this weekend? Shall we all visit the Red Fort?'
Yeah, that would be the perfect change in the conversation to what I think everyone in the group should be looking forward to every time we get together for lunch.
The last straw will break my back when she repeats her question. This is what I plan to tell her:
'Let me tell you what I am thinking right now. I consider such topics unacceptable at lunch with one's friends. The first time you asked that question, I ignored it. The second time you asked it, I tried to change the topic to something more acceptable or pleasant to all of us, while we are all eating food that helps us live a life of pleasure. You have now repeated your question for the third time, and I am now angry with you. Please do not bring such discussions to the table. If you want to find out how straight I am, let's talk about that in private. I will show you how charming I can be and that will prove to you that I am straight.'
By now, she should be looking guilty, which means I have made my point. I will smile, indicating that I am glad that she understood what I was trying to convey. If she looks hurt or angry, I will continue chiding her until I sort out her error, in the following manner:
'Let me also tell you what I plan to do the next time you repeat your mistake. I will first warn you, just as I am warning you now. If you continue, I will request the others to tell you to stop talking about it and ask you to talk about something more positive. If they are uncooperative, I will tell you that I am going to leave the table. If you are still defensive, I will never go to lunch with you again, and start having lunch with those friends that I consider pleasant.'"
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